Prayers answered

Or well, half answered. Very grateful. :)

I'm starting to feel stressed already. :(

Looking forward to the trip with family :)

Thank you for giving me encouragements when I need them; for believing in me and making me believe in myself :')

Okay, I should do a proper update. I'm done with my paper and let's wait and see how I fare. Tried my best. And I should change my bad habit of taking my own sweet time during exam to do the questions. I'm amused that there's mineral water in the exam hall for candidates, though I didn't take any. I'm gonna have a very happening long weekend. Pray to my grandma, sushi, (maybe) camping, singing, tennis, and gonna go back office for one day to do data entry.

In a blink of an eye, it has been three years. I hope you are in a better place now. :)

未你

I can't stand having depressing post!

Having depressing sounding post will only remind me of the sad things that happened and put my sad emotions on repeat-mode. I'll say no. :)

So here goes, I have just finished our almost weekly tennis session and feeling happy that somehow we got together and I can exercise regularly! I'm a noob in it. Looking forward to improving! I love how it is funny and I can laugh at all the funny incidents during tennis. All the random stupid stuffs. And I will laugh in a very unglam manner (sorry but this is me. lol.).

C pa exams in about ten days and I'm still blur. Buck up buck up! Try my best lo.

Job search, argh........ I'm. still. looking. I feel like a stupid idiot who is forever looking for job. Maybe I'll go pray in the temple after my exams for some directions.

Looking forward to nov and dec! Fav month dec when I can meet up with all my friends! and chalet to come (hope the person booking will book in time!) ! :)

未你

The sad truth

We learn to be more selfish as we grow older, don't we all do?

Learn to protect ourselves in this vicious city jungle, to draw a clear line between you and me. Recent experience of juggling duties of a colleague while she goes on leave reminded me of this complicated world I am in. Thin lines between gossip, back-stabbing and just expressing our views. Ironic when A tells B something, reminding him not to tell D, but B passes it on to C who in turn passes the message on to D. Too bad for A. You have trusted the wrong guy.

Maybe this is the reason why it gets more difficult to make friends while we grow older. Sad right? Not to mention we get more opinionated as we grow older. The "I'm right and You're wrong" mentality. How many of us could truly be confident and at the same time receptive about the ideas of others? I'm learning to be one.

Still looking for a suitable job. Maybe I'm too choosy.
Good luck, please come to me *pray*

未你

The Power; Love

It was my first time attending a wedding meal, and whats more, it was in Malaysia. It felt nice to give blessings to the young couple and see the pretty wedding photos! It is a promise of a lifetime and I hope everything will go well for this newlywed.

Disagreements and quarrels are inevitable in a relationship. What's important is the commitment to hold on to each other no matter what, and to give and take in a relationship. Happy anniversary to us. It felt like everything just happened yesterday; how we got to know each other, how we went through the JC days, NS days, my university days, my working life, your university days. I know I may have been a little too hot-tempered at times and you have got your weakness too but we shall get through everything together alright? I'll work on my listening skills and you should work on your communication skills. lol. Tough journey ahead but I'm glad to have you with me on this journey.

Decisions decisions decisions. I need to decide what kind of job I want next. Remuneration, work scope, prospects, work-life balance, etc. Is there such thing as an ideal job? I guess everyone just need to make the best out of things. I need a bigger brain. ooooooops.

Happy Children's Day! Stay young at heart and never ever let life brings you down. <3

未你

Stay or go

Hello world!

I don't know what's there for me out there. What I know is that I have decisions to make.
The next step.


未你

MC x 2

Fever made me decided that I really needed a break. Took two days of MC and back to work tmr. Much to do tmr and then its sat and its driving (after so long!). Pretty excited! Something to keep me going for the week!
I need to pour my feelings into a book. lol. Looking for that book!
and a water bottle to replace my three-years-old water bottle which had kept me going at work and in school. That warm feeling it emits in chilling lecture rooms that almost seem as if they were set on freezing us to death.


未你

May day

It was three days of agony at work to realise what I was not be able to achieve. I felt disappointed with myself. And that I had over-estimated myself. Maybe its a good thing that I did not get into crazy work lifestyle in huge companies. But.. disappointment is the word.

Put that aside, I had three post-exams gathering since labour day. Girls singing out (crazily) had never felt so good. Singing is the expression of the soul. I appreciate the simple surprise planned, its the thoughts that count and I'm touched. :) Another one was a walk around Esplanade, one of my fav places in sg, though there's really nothing much to do, was simple dinner and walking around. Recalled something about planning for overseas trip and I agree that an awareness of of the feelings of others is important. and yay I'll be receiving a gel eyeliner as present! let's hope I'll find it easy to use. hehehe. Third gathering: It hit me that the person I missed is the person in my memory and not really you. My very-forgetful brain.. Awkwardness. I should stop trying to imagine that a person is better/worse than he/she is. Take life as it is and move on.

Driving today was awesome! Although I have made enough mistakes today to fail, I felt good about the whole thing. Let's hope it stays this way and wish me luck in getting a good time for driving test! (and it's two months of waiting time. -_- ) Had a whole lot of evil laughter today! HAHAHA. =P

I feel sad when we quarrel about things everytime. However after every argument, I feel glad that I found you who is willing to stick with me to solve the problems together. Thank you and thank fate to have let me meet you. :)

<<random pic i found that i drew. >>

未你

Whining

I. Still. Have. Not. Secure. Another. Job. Rawrrrrrrrrr.

Politics at work, trying not to step on any mine but I think I did, accidentally. Peace. It's difficult to be nice to everyone. Still manageable I guess. Anyway back-stabbers won't tell u they have stabbed u on the back so I have no way of telling. Just focus on my job. Still doing okay, fortunately.

I had a couple of weird dreams recently, I felt much for a particular one because it thought me to think about what "responsibilities" guys have in a relationship. I felt that it's the nicer part of me trying to remind me not to be too mean to sm. Oops. Okay, point taken.

Many places I wish to visit. Somehow the places just add up and there's a long list. Let's see how I plan my time and whether I can get people out. Wee~

Driving had been bad. So many bad habits to change. Omg. $.$ nevertheless, it has been a really good experience.

锦上添花，不如雪中送炭。

No weekend

Is this how an accountant should feel, having no weekend? I didn't realize that today's another Monday because I have been busy with projects. Okay, I confess that I had my fair share of slack days during my 3rd sem.

I had a meet up with one gf on fri and shared a bit of our life. That's one happy study day though I'm not sure if I had disturbed her too much. Whether its study, kimchi, baking, nature tour, shopping, (i guess i could go on and on, so i should stop here) Our next awaits :) n with feng!

Next was sat's dental followed by project meet up which was, errrrr, not very productive?

Sunday was a "stay home Sunday", which I woke up at noon (happily) and got struck in the first round of the sdm test. So not productive not because I slacked, but because I don't know what's wrong. :( sm paid me a visit which made me feel much comfort. :)

Home-cooked food is still the best after a long day. :)

Two more assignment + a dreadful pair of nonsense bitchy sse (on wed) to go.

Something happy! ->
I dreamt of my fav teacher! I have never thought I missed him so much but I did. Maybe it's better this way that I never knew him too much. Cos this means that I wouldnt know about any weakness of his. Hahaha. I'm madly amused that my brain digged him out from my memory to make me happy. :D

This holiday.

I have managed to clear most of what I want to do this holiday. Meeting up with friends have always been <3 because I can have htht with them. And sometimes they will "yes yes! this happened to me toooooo!" yeah, sometimes it is grumbles we share in each of our life but sometimes it is nonsense that we share. However, organising for a meet-up can really be a bitch sometimes, especially when people dont reply. Once or twice is fine but too many times can really show how much i mean to u :( well, as much as i grumble about planning, i am always glad to meet up with them, :)

Meeting up with different friends gives different feelings and every time time flies and before i realise it, it's time to head home already. Play time will never be enough right. well well, i shall attempt to settle down when my crazy timetable starts in mid-july.

Working has still been crappy with my monday-blues client. I have tried very very very hard but i think my strategy is wrong and i always push things to the last minute thus always not enough time. the accting system sucks. b/s cannnot balance and i have been asking the maintenance person one million questions on the system. I really cannot take it anymore and thus i would rather suffer a pay cut in order to end my suffering there. it's total nonsense. understudy will be taking over this and i expect him to do a good job because he is less emotional to everything and faster and more poker face (k said he has a poker face, and i agree. lol. ) and thus should be able to handle this monday-blues better. My challenge now is to complete what i'm doing, which is the may and jun work before passing over to understudy.

I have a few other thought which I have been wanting to pen down but havent did.

Being too friendly
I have a problem with being too friendly sometimes or be in the opinion that someone is a "大好人" and only to feel so cheated after that because the person has a hidden agenda or cannot be understood. I shall remind myself to be caution (though i think i have problem doing this because i trust too easily) .

Explaining my work/study life
I may have blogged about this before: I have problem explaining to people my situation because it is not so straight-forward. I am working full-time and studying part-time for my bachelor course. My studies is structured such that it is 7 semesters, which effectively translates into 3 and a half years. I didn't retain nor repeat any modules and the course is such this way. It is difficult to explain this to people, especially to the aunties/uncles. It feels worse when people, after hearing that I am studying in SIM, comment things like "ohhhhhhhhhhh, is it more expensive?" and they didnt ask in a concern way, they asked in the oh-so-you-cant-get-into-local-uni kind of tone. yes, till now it is still a wound in my heart that i was not able to get into a course I want in nus/ntu. I dont mean i feel offended, but it just reminds me of my sucky results. And it doesn't help when my mum will drop comments like "sigh, my biggest regret is that none of you three could enter into local uni". (stabs into my heart).

oh shit. this is an emo post. shall seperately write about my night safari adventure in my next post :)

未你

Boss politics

What's worse than office politics?
Boss politics.

The partnership for the office downstairs splitted and the "war" has officially started.
同行的不是朋友，就是敌人。
他们可说是各出奇招。

而有人被无辜的卷入。其实我也不知道具体发生了什么事。
我这两位老板也有了一些磨擦，有了一场吵架。
朋友还是敌人？

act blur live longer :) 没我的事。

~（一个不习惯打中文的我）

未你

Understudy is coming back.

And so I should start planning the things I want to do! all of a sudden, I seems to have all the time in the world. Okay, shall take back my words immediately. lol. And also shove this slacker kind of idea one side. :) there's so so so many things i want to do. It's a crazy timetable this sem. 6days week. Am I really a part-time student I wonder?


未你

Crappy feelings.

Yup, as the title says.

Felt that I can't be compared to ur friends. whyyyyyyy. and so, i shall not ask u out. why should I do that, when I get rejected outrightly when I'm just trying to be nice. ffffff. And i was thinking, whether it is because I felt that I needed u more than u needed me. I'm still learning to better handle my own emotions. Grab this from a tumblr. dont really like the colour scheme but love the simple idea.

Work takes a turn for the better today and it's another "food-ful" day today. Friday is gonna be the crazy one. and understudy is gonna let k knows whether he's coming back tomorrow. On a side note, I can't understand how some people can be act differently from how they claim to be. Fake.

"Who says" is on repeat to remind me of me. Yes, me.

未你

Live with it.

Heard this mind-boggling phrase from k today. Live with it.
Gosh. I need to do some thinking on this. stay or leave.


未你

Monday not blues.

Tired but fruitful day, put a (temporary) stop to work.

Understudy is better, faster, clearer than me. I'm really feeling sad now that he is leaving :( well, he got his strengths n I have got mine. Should I stay or should I go? Tired of this feeling, this s&e combination.

Thank you uncle k, :) oh, I actually miss studying with u :) yay! Gonna meet u tmr.

I want to go out into the sunshine, greenery, seaside to breathe! Soon, soon, I hope. Wants to go bukit timah/ fort canning/ pular ubin, or all of them. And I am still brainstorming for more places to go :)

And I saw a friend's very pretty cake. I want. Lol. Lalala~

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Maligned

I was blamed for something that is not my fault. I wasn't told to issue the cheque NOR payment voucher NOR open the letter NOR the reminder letter from that place that starts with a C. I dont even open any letters at all! And they continued to say things that put me down like

>"at least now we know your strength and weakness". (yes, I'm sure you stressed on that word)
>"you felt there were too much work and you complained to your boss" (it's my rights to tell my boss, and there were really too much work)
>"we place you above us so we expect you to know these stuff better than us" (f. we didnt agree on taking over your office operation yet. just because the person in-charge went for holiday doesn't mean i'm responsible.)

NONSENSE. U got me to spend time writing those cheques, instead of working on the system.

To humiliate me further,
you two have got to comment that
> "oh, you can come here to vaccum our floor" (if you feel like spending your money on me for vaccum, I don't mind, I/my company can charge you at the rate we charge for our professional fees, i dont mind)
> (after i told them proudly of my sec sch) "that gangster school?"

I admit i'm not fast, okay, slow, but there were so many things I have to learn, by myself. All I could do was to email the system person to ask. I pick up all these by myself.

I never revealed my age because I dont want them to feel that i'm inexperienced. And they try all sort of ways to get me to say, like
he said > "you have already told me your age that time"
i said > "no i didnt, what did i say?"
he said > "you said 6 more months you are turning 30"
(in my mind: you want me to say by telling me i look older so that i'll say our my real age right)

Maturity is not determined by age. Because you two are childish. nonsense.

I felt so silly that I cried over it. If k stands on their side, then i think there's no point in me working for him.

未你

声音，噪音，杂音

这是我在＂某＂个地方的感受。
恨不得自己能躲在一个洞，能远离那吵闹的环境。
不去听不管自己的事情，以免在不知情时，被卷入他人的纠纷里。
有些人会大声嚷嚷，也有小孩子会在旁吵着要＂mummy＂引起他妈妈的注意（也是引起他妈妈的烦躁情绪）。
就算这些人不在，我也得小心，因为伴君如伴虎，我不知道几时会说错话，或有没有三姑六婆会把白的讲成黑的，或是断章取义。
因为在那，那些说自己很随便的其实是最看不开的。
但是，我在那里也学到了不少，最少我看到了种种不一样的人。有的值得我学习，有的值得我了解了不要犯同样的错误。

未你

can't match

can't match can't match, i can't match,
this whole lot of nonsense, i can't match.


未你

The best christmas gift

It wasn't anything gift that k has given me, it was some advice which he has told me. That half an hour chat gave me some directions in life, and it isn't conparable in terms of monetary value. I'm still pretty clueless about my life after graduation(in a year's time) and hence I'm still searching. His past experience are valuable to me. Branding yourself in this society is important, he said. And I kind of have a direction now, which is to "suffer" the horrible, long hours working condition and learn all I could while I'm still young. But I really haven't make up my mind, it's pretty difficult, you see. Sometimes, I feel so alone on this path, please shed me some light and lead me through.

未你