Google is my best friend

I just discovered the power of Google- to enable you to look for so many related articles/news/image. I think i'm kind of slow to realise this but at least i do now alright. Internet is so powerful!

And steve jobs is a transformational leader (lol. what I have just learnt in class today). The way he presents speech are simply superb.

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Maligned

I was blamed for something that is not my fault. I wasn't told to issue the cheque NOR payment voucher NOR open the letter NOR the reminder letter from that place that starts with a C. I dont even open any letters at all! And they continued to say things that put me down like

>"at least now we know your strength and weakness". (yes, I'm sure you stressed on that word)
>"you felt there were too much work and you complained to your boss" (it's my rights to tell my boss, and there were really too much work)
>"we place you above us so we expect you to know these stuff better than us" (f. we didnt agree on taking over your office operation yet. just because the person in-charge went for holiday doesn't mean i'm responsible.)

NONSENSE. U got me to spend time writing those cheques, instead of working on the system.

To humiliate me further,
you two have got to comment that
> "oh, you can come here to vaccum our floor" (if you feel like spending your money on me for vaccum, I don't mind, I/my company can charge you at the rate we charge for our professional fees, i dont mind)
> (after i told them proudly of my sec sch) "that gangster school?"

I admit i'm not fast, okay, slow, but there were so many things I have to learn, by myself. All I could do was to email the system person to ask. I pick up all these by myself.

I never revealed my age because I dont want them to feel that i'm inexperienced. And they try all sort of ways to get me to say, like
he said > "you have already told me your age that time"
i said > "no i didnt, what did i say?"
he said > "you said 6 more months you are turning 30"
(in my mind: you want me to say by telling me i look older so that i'll say our my real age right)

Maturity is not determined by age. Because you two are childish. nonsense.

I felt so silly that I cried over it. If k stands on their side, then i think there's no point in me working for him.

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My personal view on facebook

Facebook is an entertainment, not a way of life.

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My sunflower affair.

<3 my sunflower affair.

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To express myself.

I find it diffcult to suppress my thoughts. But I need to. I'm not able, and not supposed to correct some people. For example, I can't possibly tell my clients off for what I disagree with (for their family affairs). And to my elders, I shouldn't correct them. And definitely not to people who doesn't listen. And so I grumble. But it isn't healthy to grumble too much. Yet, if I don't grumble, I feel like there's something in me, like a balloon growing.


And so, I came to enjoy reading blogs where blogger expresses himself/herself, to a certain exent, freely. I find it funny the way they scold the others, and silly sometimes because it is really over such a small stuff that he/she is having a huge fuss over.


And so, I'm still learning, learning to express myself in a positive way, to express my views but at the same time not offend anyone. I'm sorry if I'm not good with words. I meant and mean well. :)


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How nice it will be if your cousin is also your best friend.

I had lunch with a familiar face today, my cousin. I have no idea why I'm not at all angry when he had forgotten our lunch meet-up. I'm just glad that at least when he realised it, he came to watch me eat, although there was only half an hour left. This cousin of mine, I watched him grow up, and he is so tall now, messy hair though, lol. I call this pre-army syndrome: a want to keep your hair as long as possible before you go botak at tekong. =P

No, I'm not really close to this cousin of mine, or rather, I am not really very close to any of my cousins. :( How I wish I am! In my opinion, it is nice to have big families with close bonds. It's not easy though, almost 家家有本难念的经  .


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Chinese new year 2011

I find it kind of sad not to have big extended family reunion dinner this year, and probably not going to have it in the future too. To be honest, I don't want to interfer nor meddle in the "adult's problem" but I do care about keeping in touch with my younger cousins. I watched my cousins grow up, yet I don't have the chance to know them more other than during the annual reunion dinner we have. I have no idea what to do about this yet. humph.

Well, maybe I should be glad that at least we spent our 初一 together. It's amazing to see my cousins grow up, so tall now! And some of them have break their voice, wahahahaha. How good it will be if we could all be close. I envy those family with close bonds. This makes me think of having a large family myself when I grow up. lol. Crazy thought with the increase in the standard of living now.

And after this chinese new year, I have got to put my attention back to my work and studies! Have slacked enough and it is time to catch up. Can't afford to do last min work again for school because I always have ot randomly. :( on a side note, someone quite random told me something, which kind of inspired me:
me: but studying and working is very difficult.
mh (my friend): 可是你是佳榆 leh.
It hit me. yes, if I haven't fallen after so many years, I wouldn't be defeated by this.

I just gotta be strong.

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声音，噪音，杂音

这是我在＂某＂个地方的感受。
恨不得自己能躲在一个洞，能远离那吵闹的环境。
不去听不管自己的事情，以免在不知情时，被卷入他人的纠纷里。
有些人会大声嚷嚷，也有小孩子会在旁吵着要＂mummy＂引起他妈妈的注意（也是引起他妈妈的烦躁情绪）。
就算这些人不在，我也得小心，因为伴君如伴虎，我不知道几时会说错话，或有没有三姑六婆会把白的讲成黑的，或是断章取义。
因为在那，那些说自己很随便的其实是最看不开的。
但是，我在那里也学到了不少，最少我看到了种种不一样的人。有的值得我学习，有的值得我了解了不要犯同样的错误。

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To change for the better, 2011

1) Abide by the rule of punctuality

2) Be more sensitive towards others, in terms my actions

3) To be strong and withstand the nonsense that life offers me

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Trying to balance School, Work, and Life.

How forgetful can I get?
I conveniently forgot that I would have many projects and test to follow up to in a semester even though I'm supposed to be only doing this part-time studies. Just realised I have got 6 reports, 3 individual, 3 group to do, and 1 test. I'm so scared of doing individual report because I don't know how to do referencing (yes, EVEN after the many projects because my group members are the ones doing the referencing and hence i have been able to avoid doing it). And I'm afraid that I'll conveniently forget about the project altogether and forgot the due date. x.x


I immersed myself in work, and forgot about school. OH NO! Need to wake up already.


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can't match

can't match can't match, i can't match,
this whole lot of nonsense, i can't match.


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I'm different because I'm special.

Live like myself, and that's the best I can be.

I'm different because I'm special :)

Live love laugh

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Have you ever felt this way?

Caution.This is gonna be a sad post.



I have gotta rant this out because this has been bothering me for quite some time.
Have you ever love a friend, only to realise much later that he/she doesn't love you back as much?
In this case, Love=Friendship .

Some time back, I thought that you have left me for good, because although we had a lot of good memories together, we are essentially different. I was the one who chose a different environment from you, fearing that i may lose you, in front of me. I don't want to be seen as a shadow, and I want to be happy to be me. I want to be me. Nevertheless, I wanted to stay in contact with you. Maybe time was a big concern back then. And we drifted away. I tried, more than once to pull you nearer to me, but it all failed. And then, after I have decided to give up, miraculously, as if my prayers were answered, you came back. And, I believed in you. Believe that you would never ever do what you have did to me before, again.





And then you did.


I'm probably the one who's getting over-sensitive this time.
And so, I hope I'll just wake up next morning feeling stupid that I have felt the way I feel.

Yes, cheers to a better day. :D


to all this small blog's readers out there, i would very much prefer you not to guess who's the person.

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Amazing 2010

Year 2010 has been an amazing year.
It started off with a blast with my very first overseas trip organized by friends to genting. No doubt it was a short trip, it has been nice travelling with friends. :) then it was an surprise celebration that I have co-organized with a friend. He went quite high during that celebration too. Lol.
And it was ORD! It shouldn't have sound like it has anything to do with me, but it was! It was as though I went through it okay. Though it didn't experienced it physically, I experienced it mentally and emotionally. It was a tough one year and ten months with nonsense and a great deal of getting used to, especially the restricted amount of time we have everyday and the gloomy Sunday nights, both for you and me. I'm so glad that we have got over it.
Then the next big thing was the first cny that I have came across before, that falls on 14feb, otherwise known as vday.
Then it was one of my best friends birthday in march. Though it was only a simple steamboat dinner, I'm so happy for her. And then there were another two close friends' celebration and I'm so happy for them too because they had also enjoyed the celebrations. Then came April where I broke down with the stress of work, projects and exams. I had almost wanted to call off my birthday party because I had too much to handle. I'm fortunate to have sm helped me with the logistic and I only had to care about my guest list and to make some decisions.
Then came end of April where my mugging time increased as I had taken leave from my work.
May was a blast with my party (=^_^=) and some celebrations and catch up. May and June was fun because it was school holidays(yup, I continued working at the same time, all the while). I should pause here to say there I sincerely enjoyed all the birthday parties that I have attended and I'm so happy for my friends who have had their party and at a great time.
And so I continued to attend parties and in July, it was to uss. So pretty! Although I was terrified by that small mummy rollarcoaster, I'm glad that I have tried! It sure has been a scary experience but also an amazing one because I'm proud of myself that I have gone through it. No regrets :)
In aug, it was sm's turn. I know I wasn't much of a help to the party, both for the organizing and for the actual day but I'm glad that everything has turned out well for him :) it was a headache when it comes to buying presents but luckily, I had a idea and he had a new need, hostel. Lol.
I have attended another surprise birthday party for another bestie and I saw how loving they are and I am truly happy for her. Then, I realized whatone could enjoy, if you have money. That is not in my own spending range. Different background. It's cool anyway.
Next came was end of sept. It was our fourth anniversary and we had only simple dinner but it was simply nice. And we made our rings (again ;))
In oct, I went to a memorable birthday celebration. It wasn't at any grand place, it was in front of a shop at a housing estate. They had everything necessary for party and it sure was the wild-est party I have ever attended. Then, I understood what they mean by that a family shapes how a child (or rather, a person's) character.
Oct was another crazy stress-filled month as I juggled with my job and studies, and this time, I fared badly. Phew. I don't know how I'm going to get through this another two times but I will, I believe :) . Alright, back to my main idea, nov and dec was enjoy and "let's go out days" after work. I hope I have done enough of encouraging you and had motivated you enough, you-know-who. I'm pretty dumb when it comes to encouraging you =/
anyway, I co-made a banner for a best friend. We were so proud of our self-painted banner. Lol.
Dec was filled with fun and I had an eye-opener when I went to stayover at mbs hotel ^^ the sky pool is simply awesome! The best pool that I have ever seen and swam in.
Christmas period was stayover and catch up with friends. Had the "wettest BBQ" and fun!
New year eve was all sort of impromptu decisions, and everything fall in nicely in the end, our first countdown together.


I'm contented with such an amazing 2010 :)


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:( as the year is coming to an end and school is starting soon

My temper has not been good today. Terrible. I gotta find some way to unwind and get rid of this stress of sch starting, even though school has not start yet. I'm tired of getting through the same stress over and over again. Goshhhhh. =x

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To the nerd in my life, some thoughts about year 2010

I know, I have not really been kind with my words to you, and you are not good with words at times too. We have quite some disagreements this year, regarding various issues. It has not been easy for the both of us as we both took a huge lap for life and get used to changes. For me, it's working life and for you, it's freedom and studies.

I'm glad that you have entered my life and made me realise how simple life could be. At the same time, both of us has changed, for the better, for ourselves and for each other. Thanks for being there when I needed a shoulder to lean on.

It's gonna be a long road ahead of us, and with you(and your patience =P), let's hold on to each other :)

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The best christmas gift

It wasn't anything gift that k has given me, it was some advice which he has told me. That half an hour chat gave me some directions in life, and it isn't conparable in terms of monetary value. I'm still pretty clueless about my life after graduation(in a year's time) and hence I'm still searching. His past experience are valuable to me. Branding yourself in this society is important, he said. And I kind of have a direction now, which is to "suffer" the horrible, long hours working condition and learn all I could while I'm still young. But I really haven't make up my mind, it's pretty difficult, you see. Sometimes, I feel so alone on this path, please shed me some light and lead me through.

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And off we go to imm.

I bought some stuff for hair today, nice! lol. *self-indulged*
Unfortunately, we still did not manage to find the takoyaki pan. :( . I guess I'll have to wait till I go japan to buy one. Because the "cheaper" one doesn't look good and the expensive ones are expensive. And now I know why takoyaki are expensive, because the pans are expensive.
Time flies when I was there with my twin and till the next time we meet! :) don't be too emo okay, always look on the bright side of life!

I am still searching for idea as to what to get for my company christmas exchange gift and another friend's christmas exchange gift. argh. I forgot to buy something for some other friends. =/ hohoho. christamas is coming. I like the cool weather. Please let it be freezing at night so that i can use my beloved blanket. lol. <3

and you, jia you to study! mug man is not alone! :) ntu ppl, jia you, it will be over soon! :)

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Some thoughts about relationships

A chat with w again.
And this time, she's determined to keep the cold war going, if j is not going to speak out first. What i don't understand is, how can one stand not talking to someone so near and dear to you? Cold war is not the way to solve problems, however, it does seem like the best way in this case, because nothing else can be done. Is it that relationships are fragile or that human's behaviour are not steadfast enough to keep us holding to our values?

People change (yes i know, and i accept that). so how can someone believe that another person will be there for him/her, for good times and for bad?

and there are so many people who one should take their life with a pinch of salt. trust, but not completely.

An eye-opener

It was a long thursday that I had.

First was the release of my results. Oh crap. Worst that I have ever done so far, four grades lower than the previous semester. Perhaps I had over-estimated my own ability. Utterly disappointed in my own ability.

Then I started recalling about that remark that you have made. Am I not good enough?

I was on my own to sort out stuff at work. It feels like i'm battling alone when i'm at work sometimes.

Hence, because of reasons stated above, I was grumpy throughout the day.

However, things changed at night. We talked about it and sorted things out.

And we went to celebrate a friend's birthday at mbs. As what she has described, "ah-tas" is the word. Everything is so nice, especially the sky pool! It looks like there is no limits to the pool. It is the nicest pool I have ever seen! I appreciate her inviting us to stay over and the bath robe for the swimming pool. :) It was freezing in the morning when we went down to the water but all was worth it. Super super nice. An eye-opener. It felt like I was in some paradise(okay, maybe this is a little exaggerated) and that I was removed from my sickening job.