Half a decade.

How amazing time flies, it's been 5 years.
I know i have been a bad gf sometimes, demanding too much from you. I'll be more rational in my thinking. And not throw tantrum. And not be less emtional okay. And to be more hardworking. And to not forget to check my phone. And not be so late. oh gosh why so many weakness. :( but you have to work hard too okay.

ANYWAY, HAPPILY. :)
Thank you for the amazing half a decade.
I'm looking forwad to more. <3

Ending with a photo taken some time ago at mbs.

未你

Too stressed became two stressed

Yes, it's me and my far-too-sensitive, possessive character especially when it concerns you n (I shall name) "the nonsense". Piled up on it are the stress for tests projects and worry for work. As a result, I exploded (aka blasted).

I feel bad AFTER we talk through things everytime. But it just keeps repeating. I'll try to control, yes? On the other hand, it's high time u take initiative to arrange a date to date me, hahahahahahahahaha. :)

One month countdown!

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A sunny Sunday

Met to jog (given my speed, it should be better known as fast walk instead, but who cares right =P) with sm at 10am. And given that I slept at 2+ am the night before, hehe, the meet up was delayed. We fast walked jogged and exercised a little before we played at the playground! He's super interested in playing that spin wheel thing. It's fun though too much is crazy. Some Malay kids and ang moh came along to play in the spinning thing too. Kampong spirit perhaps?

However, this spinning thing ranks lower than my fav playground item: THE SWING. lol. Didn't dare to go too high cos I'm not sure if my weight is beyond what the swing can handle. Hahahahaha. Well, but it didnt stop me from having fun!

Had a long lunch at fav heartland mall, tbp, our sec sch hangout. Precious memories with different people there.

Love, :)

Blogger finally has an app!

Yay! This should make blogging easier. I have been waiting for blogger app ever since I heard that word press has one. What is lacking now is a camera for me to snap and post. Oh well, greedy me.

So many projects going on concurrently is kinda making me crazy. But all will be over soon! I should 发奋图强。buck up and keep going, keep going!

"After a hurricane, comes a rainbow " ♪ . I was feeling down last night and music therapy worked! It's like having someone there to tell you that things will get better. YES. Stay positive :)

6 more weeks

In another 6 weeks time, I have to wave goodbye to students' life (at least temporary). I shall keep reminding myself about the awesome holiday that is going to come!

To everyone out that who is mugging hard, JIA YOU! hang in there! :)

Cheers!
fish :)

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Born to be a computer idiot

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm terrible at computer system and digging information out from different programs. This occurs at work and in my projects. argh.

Fine, enough of grumbles. back to project.

未你

Dzc night out

We go out, eat, have fun and take a break for a while. :)
We human need entertainment sometimes. Dzc went to swensens for dinner celebration for andy and stuffed him with food, namely ice-cream, ice-cream drink and ice-cream cake. HAHAHA. Following that, we played 风声 card game at mos burger. And I got a ride home. Two nights in a row that I get a ride home. weeee~ :)

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Will love last?

So much drama happened in school, anyway it's the last sem so I should just focus. The problem is, I still haven't decide what to study. I'm still looking at my options!

Ohhhhhh. And I'm so glad that I have a group of friends who met up yesterday. Cos sometimes I just need a break from school and haha-hoho-hehe. I just took my afa test that weighed 50% of the total and I kind of screwed it up. Let me pass. Haix. Not hoping for degree with distinction, just want to clear my papers and get my degree.

Future is so blur. Haa. Future is in my hands to create. :)

Anyway, I realized sm is the only person who I dare to quarrel and argue. Cos I know he will stand me. But I'll get really heart-broken and mad when he doesn't read the stuff I sent him to read. And they are not even hundreds of pages. They are only a few pages. So upsetting.

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Lost

For a while, I was lost in thoughts. What should there be in a relationship? Being lay back is definitely one of the characteristics I wouldn't like to see in you.

AND, a new dislike-a-guy era has just began.

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Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

We quarrel, we have disagreements, we get angry, we get annoyed,
But after all these,
We hold on to each other.

You are amazing (i can't help but also say that you can be annoying sometimes too)

I hope that we will be this loving together, for as long as time allows. :)

Thank you for everything. :)

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年少时候，谁没有梦。

We were told to dream.

Dream big.

However, the reality is cruel.

I'm really glad that I can count my blessings: Family and friends.

Grateful. :)
Shall be positive! :) jia you!

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Majula Singapura!

I just realised that my blog has turned into a grumbling zone, which is bad! lol. then all my happy stuff are in photos on fb. alright, shall put a few ndp photos here.

my fav wheel and helicopter!

as before, subway for dinner. yays! subway's the thing when I need to have takeway dinner for shows.

 a sea of red. imho, whoever that came up with wearing red for national day has given a brillant idea.

thankful for the tickets. :)

未你

I WILL BE STRONG

and learn to be smart.
and decisive.
and not take things to heart.
and not slack.
and do well for work.
and at least clear my studies.

未你

Do what you love, Love what you do

We have regrets in life sometimes.
Like for me, not having a grade good enough for my ideal course in local uni was one of the worst things that have ever happened. And I think, as someone who grew up in s'pore, I am not used to failure(s). The feeling lasted a few years. Even now that I think of it, I will still feel that feeling that pinch my heart.

I read something that goes like this:

Whatever that happened, could only have happened that way.

Fate. And what we could hold on to is our future.
Enough of crying over spilled milk, I still have so many more years of my life to go.
Enough of grumbling because it is me who didn't get good grades.

What I could change is my future.
And i'll make a happy one.
Thats what important right.
So to you who's having this feeling, I hope you will pull yourself together and live life happily. :)

A separate issue:
What strike me to say all that was because I felt that I was blamed for everything.
And I was threatened that if I don't *, I would be ignored.
Thats not the way to do things right?
Yes, I do not deny that I have some responsibility to the whole thing. I was indecisive in making decisions. But in the end, we had a plan right. I was not the one who pang seh to go to tw with someone else, I was not the one who  had something else to attend to instead of the meet up, I was not the one who suggested for somewhere else but later backed out. Yes I know, it was supposed to be more of our trip and not hers, but then, it was really the changes that changed my decision.
I don't want us to be unhappy, and I do have some responsibility to this. Whatever thats my fault, i apologise.
Like I have said, the circumstances are against us this time.
And I hope there will be another chance to travel with you.
I hope we will be happy.


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What life has to offer

Been feeling very down these few days because of friends, family, work. It's not a good start, I told myself. How am I going to go through this?

I had a talk with uncle k tonight. It has been really long since we last talked. I wasn't sure if he was free to talk or wished to talk but I really did miss talking to this friend. So I rattled on. I'm glad I did. He's one of the best people to talk with.

Life's just like that, no time to think too much, no time to consider so much. I have to be more decisive and hold on to my point on whatever I want.

I may not have a large group of friends but I'm contented with what I have. I do not live in a big house but I have a comfortable roof over my head. I shouldn't be too hard on myself, to try to make the others happy but upset myself at the same time. I'm always afraid of saying something wrong to another person, always afraid of making someone upset/angry/annoyed at me. I should just be me. H mentioned this to me before too. I just got to be me.

Another skill I have to learn is to filter.

I'm touched.
Touched by what I have.

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Slack-y foreign lecturer

As compared to the first foreign lecturer, this lecturer is really slack max. She told us to print some notes to prepare for tmr's lesson but as I have just checked, she has not uploaded them. -_- . Can't you spare a thought for those students who are working. and, she dismissed us one hour before the supposed time.

Shall write a short blog entry then.

Been feeling moody since that sms came. It's double-standard. And me, having a low determination on things usually, feels like giving up already. Enough. idkidkidk. I don't want you to feel like you have compromised a lot for me. idk.

On a positive note, I'm making friends all over again in school.

TGIF.

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The Start of The Last

I'm not writing about the last harry potter movie(7, part 2) here, I'm writing on my last semester of my course, my seventh semester.

Studying and working can be compared to taking a rollercoaster ride. (fyi, I have fear for rollarcoaster)
Once you start on one, you cant stop. The ride will get more and more crazy till the end. Fear enters your heart when you realise you dont know what to do. And it ends after the final examination. Well, it's a little different this semester as compared to the last because there's greater emphasise put on the whole semester's projects, and mid term tests. Thus, it's gonna be a crazy ride throughout I guess.

This is gonna be my last (well, at least at sim. probably gonna either take up acca or cpa australia, havent made up my mind yet), and hopefully the best.

Another topic, friends.

What to do when your two bestie dislike each other? Sandwiched. Now I know exactly those guys whose mum and wife couldn't get along feels. The only solution: Separate them.

Some friends are good to have, but no matter how much effort I put into them, I wouldn't get anything out of it. Life's like this I guess. I just pray hard that my best friends will stay as my best friends forever.

Another point. Someone struck me to think of this:
If you forget your friends when you are in love, don't expect them to remember you when you are out of love.

Karma.

Full school and work to go! Gonna stay optimistic! :D

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Wake me up when July comes.

July has arrived.

I can hardly believe that another 6months has left and I am already at the second half of 2011. What a (half) year, what an emo year so far. I'm too emotional for my own good. I am still that naive to believe and trust people so fully. Too trusting for my own good. Shall learn not to be so trusting! :) and I shall tame my temper, be nicer to people who are nice to me :) Anyway, last semester to go and I shall attempt to pull up my results for this final sem, after scoring so many lousy credits last two semesters. (look at my results and sigh). And I should learn to filter and take some things at surface value.

Re-watched my favourite anime's movie and I'm still loving it. <3 Attempted to play the "ping-pong-ping-pong-ping-pong-chap". It's nice to reminisce the good old times. Everything and everyone has changed. And I'm glad that I still have these wonderful memories and wonderful friends whom I am still in touched with. Thankful :)

And of course, sm who is still by my side :)

On a side note, I have found a very nice photo app! omg. loves. haha. :)

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One night in safari.

We six people went to night safari last night. Only took like 2 or 3 photos because my camera is really bad when it comes to taking photo in the dark or near darkness. I didn't expect much from this trip and I would say this is better than I imagined, though it could have been better if we went there earlier and had time to go on walking trail.

Looking at the cute animals is so cute. Okay, my sentence is weird. lol :) and on the tram ride, we saw elephants, tigers, etc. It's like they leaped out of our primary school science textbook and are so real right in front of me. It's a pity though, that many of them are endangered species. Climate change and hunters are not helping at all. It's nice to see them.

Following that was a stayover and fun till 5+ am with the chinese idioms and drawings. We were all high to the point where we laugh at the smallest thing. One funniest incident was when my friend kt switched off the light, he realised he cant see at all. And so, someone commented he lay down before he switch off the light. BUT if he lay down then he wouldn't be able to see where he was supposed to sleep at! hahahaha. so he went to switch off the light and attempts to find his place before someone else commented that he can use the owl light which they bought at night safari for a little light to light his way. And so he search for the owl and switch on. AND finally, when we all thought it's okay, time to sleep already, he said "but i dont know how to switch off this light!" and the switch is in fact the same one as how he switched on it. He's very very funny because of the way he says things. :)

I'm sick and i dont know where i caught it from. :( is it the lychee I ate, or the huge puff of cigarettes smoke i sniffed when walking up the stairs, or from sm? idk.


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This holiday.

I have managed to clear most of what I want to do this holiday. Meeting up with friends have always been <3 because I can have htht with them. And sometimes they will "yes yes! this happened to me toooooo!" yeah, sometimes it is grumbles we share in each of our life but sometimes it is nonsense that we share. However, organising for a meet-up can really be a bitch sometimes, especially when people dont reply. Once or twice is fine but too many times can really show how much i mean to u :( well, as much as i grumble about planning, i am always glad to meet up with them, :)

Meeting up with different friends gives different feelings and every time time flies and before i realise it, it's time to head home already. Play time will never be enough right. well well, i shall attempt to settle down when my crazy timetable starts in mid-july.

Working has still been crappy with my monday-blues client. I have tried very very very hard but i think my strategy is wrong and i always push things to the last minute thus always not enough time. the accting system sucks. b/s cannnot balance and i have been asking the maintenance person one million questions on the system. I really cannot take it anymore and thus i would rather suffer a pay cut in order to end my suffering there. it's total nonsense. understudy will be taking over this and i expect him to do a good job because he is less emotional to everything and faster and more poker face (k said he has a poker face, and i agree. lol. ) and thus should be able to handle this monday-blues better. My challenge now is to complete what i'm doing, which is the may and jun work before passing over to understudy.

I have a few other thought which I have been wanting to pen down but havent did.

Being too friendly
I have a problem with being too friendly sometimes or be in the opinion that someone is a "大好人" and only to feel so cheated after that because the person has a hidden agenda or cannot be understood. I shall remind myself to be caution (though i think i have problem doing this because i trust too easily) .

Explaining my work/study life
I may have blogged about this before: I have problem explaining to people my situation because it is not so straight-forward. I am working full-time and studying part-time for my bachelor course. My studies is structured such that it is 7 semesters, which effectively translates into 3 and a half years. I didn't retain nor repeat any modules and the course is such this way. It is difficult to explain this to people, especially to the aunties/uncles. It feels worse when people, after hearing that I am studying in SIM, comment things like "ohhhhhhhhhhh, is it more expensive?" and they didnt ask in a concern way, they asked in the oh-so-you-cant-get-into-local-uni kind of tone. yes, till now it is still a wound in my heart that i was not able to get into a course I want in nus/ntu. I dont mean i feel offended, but it just reminds me of my sucky results. And it doesn't help when my mum will drop comments like "sigh, my biggest regret is that none of you three could enter into local uni". (stabs into my heart).

oh shit. this is an emo post. shall seperately write about my night safari adventure in my next post :)

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