Going to 2012

2011 has been a calm year as compared to 2010, which had many 21st parties and gatherings. I can't really remember much of 2011 now, except for the work related memories. There are so much more to learn about. Friends-wise I guess I realise how some are important and should be held close to my heart while some are not. And I have learnt that I should be firm with my decision in order not to cause any disappointment to the others.

2012 will be a year of changes because I would be looking forward to changing my job somewhere near mid 2012. And graduation. Let's hope that I won't meet someone I am afraid of yet have to stick around with in the future.

Let's hope 2012 will be a great year for everyone, 风调雨顺，少一点天灾人祸；world peace ^_^v

Christmas 2011

We had a long htht on christmas eve.
I appreciate friends who had endured with sm and I to talk about our disagreements. "Communication" is listed as the number one thing we have to work on.
Will do. Encourage and not enforce. Love much.
I feel so blessed to have sm and my friends.

And I have finally completed the knitting of scarf, yay!
Looking forward to a good 2012!
So many things that I want to complete.

New year resolution: Tame my temper.

未你

No Proposal = No Marriage

I was discussing with my sis on this topic and we agreed that a proposal is a must before marriage. Not that I'm getting married any time soon (no money no talk).

This year seems to be a good year to get married (and they can give birth to a dragon baby next year!). Seen a couple of updates of ex-schoolmates getting married and the first reaction is: so pretty! the bride is always so pretty. lol.

May true love lasts forever. :)

未你

那些年

The reason for the overwhelming response for this movie is probably because many can relate to it. I can understand how the characters in the movie feel and everything is so realistic. And yes I realise many friends came by having similar situation in their life before.

Unlike some romance film, this appeals not only to females, but also to males. I find the content slightly too crude though. Well, but without these crude ideas, it may not appeal to that many people. Again, because people can relate to it. It's probably one of the best movies this year. I like how the story is presented to us, the audience.

未你

Glad to be home

There's no place like home, this familiar place. :)

It's difficult to count Rupiah notes when they come in different amount and I attempted to use as many small notes as possible for our lunch. 第一次数钱数到怕 would be an apt description.

未你

62nd :)

You are the constant reminder of how awesome i am. And I love the idea of how stuffing cheesecake into your mouth can shut our argument :) had several arguments recently, but can't rmb most of the details already.

I amused by how I can find some msges from other females to you amusing. Maybe because I don't view them as a threat, yet.

Happily 62nd :) wee.. Green crocodile tooth dentist.

Past tense

It takes so much energy trying to dislike u, one who accompanied me through a dark period of my life. It mattered and I think about it so much that I even dreamt of u in a dream.

And u just didn't care.

I guess u just don't love me as much as I felt towards u, my friend. Forget it then.

Lost for a while

I'm an idiot to leave my sat blank. argh.

Went to SP to study ytd with f and I knit away my time. Briefly read through basic theory too. Love the idea of pretending to be a student. Maybe because it's a way to forget worries at work temporary.

未你

That comfortable feeling

Last Friday was lesson followed by a short meet-up to buy tickets for sat movie, Tin Tin, followed by dinner and ice-cream with m :) ice-cream brings comfort to the soul. And the knot in my heart regarding c is finally untied after our talk over ice-cream. You know that feeling that you love someone and you can't bear to lose him/her but it didn't matter to him/her at all? And to me, it's this feeling towards a friend. There's no point brooding over it because it really didn't matter. Why be involved in an one-sided relationship? Of course, we are still friends, I guess, just not that kind of super close kind.

I went to j's 5th birthday celebration on sat. A group of us helped the small boy to open his present. That includes transforming the transformer. Yes, I can understand finally why transformer toys are popular among kids, maybe some adults too.

And so, I have become a detective, in my dream. This is the result of watching Criminal Minds and CSI.

未你

Fear

For fear that is small and contained within us, but huge enough to affect our decisions and mentality.

An overdose of criminal minds.

Fear of losing, fear of being incapable.

Rationalisation

When we rationalise, we tend to put each other at fault. Though it is natural that this happens, we should always think about how we could each change for the better while we pin point each other's mistake.

-note to self

Applee vs Nokiaa

HEH. I do not wish for my blog entry to turn up in any search hence the title.

I have been looking forward to owning an iphone, mainly for its photo-editing features and the all so awesome reviews I heard from friends from it. However, now that my plan has reached its 21st month, I have reservations about getting an iphone 4s.

YES, I like the photo-editing features, the very fact that I can choose the filter/colour balance/brightness of any photo. Its user-friendly features are also appealing. I should be able to pick up the skill of using this new phone pretty fast, given that I have my dear ifish.

BUT, the infamous problem with iphone's battery life. I am not so concerned about the fact that I have to charge everyday. What I'm concerned with is whether the battery will die before 21mths of usage because I'll really feel cheated (like I did, for my sony ericssonn w595 or smthg like that). Not that changing the battery of iphone will help, I heard. because rumour says that even the battery-changing service is to change the battery with another "chiong"(aka pirated) battery. Servicing will also be a problem, not to mention, its higher price as compared to the other smart phones in the market. AND, the fb app is a bitch sometimes.

On the other hand, my loyal nokia phone has served me well these almost 22mths. Other than the sudden cut off of my tele-conversation a couple of times a few months back, it has not given me any problems. AND, nokiaa service centre is conveniently located at vivo (not that I wish that my phone would meet with some mishap) and they used to have this thing call "extended warranty", not sure if they still have this though.

So, smart touch screen phone OR not,
Applee or Nokiaa-N9.


未你

Liberation; fond memories

Today's the last report submission date for my three and a half years of study. Phew. Hopefully all clear and can graduate on time.

I have learnt a lot: about people, system and work. Felt lonely on this journey sometimes, glad that it's all over now. Seriously, 日久见人心.

On a side note, I found my fav teacher on fb! So happy so initiated a chat. My pri sch memories would be vastly different without him.

Randomly saw my pri 1 and 2 form teacher. Not sure if she really rmb me or was being friendly because I smiled to her at the bus stop. She asked about how I'm doing so I told her a little.

No weekend

Is this how an accountant should feel, having no weekend? I didn't realize that today's another Monday because I have been busy with projects. Okay, I confess that I had my fair share of slack days during my 3rd sem.

I had a meet up with one gf on fri and shared a bit of our life. That's one happy study day though I'm not sure if I had disturbed her too much. Whether its study, kimchi, baking, nature tour, shopping, (i guess i could go on and on, so i should stop here) Our next awaits :) n with feng!

Next was sat's dental followed by project meet up which was, errrrr, not very productive?

Sunday was a "stay home Sunday", which I woke up at noon (happily) and got struck in the first round of the sdm test. So not productive not because I slacked, but because I don't know what's wrong. :( sm paid me a visit which made me feel much comfort. :)

Home-cooked food is still the best after a long day. :)

Two more assignment + a dreadful pair of nonsense bitchy sse (on wed) to go.

Something happy! ->
I dreamt of my fav teacher! I have never thought I missed him so much but I did. Maybe it's better this way that I never knew him too much. Cos this means that I wouldnt know about any weakness of his. Hahaha. I'm madly amused that my brain digged him out from my memory to make me happy. :D

Expensive wisdom

I went for dental today and it costed me $50+. this is still okay. The dentist advised me to go for wisdom tooth removal. And having a tooth that is half-grown (half still in the gum, apparently decided not to come out) will cost me around $500+, to remove it.

List of things I would need to spend on currently:
New phone => tel with Internet plan?
Travel to batam
Travel to xxx (not confirmed yet)
Learn to drive
Learn jap ( judging from the situation now, I'll probably put off this plan (again) )
Further study in accounting

I feel very poor already. :(

#nowonderpplcomplain

Having second thoughts about learning to drive.

What to get for your boyfriend

In light of the semester that is ending for me, I cannot, shall not, could not procratinate anymore.
I have to start thinking of getting what to get.
And running out of ideas, I went to my best friend (google) and saw this link
http://www.wikihow.com/Buy-a-Gift-for-Your-Boyfriend

and.
I'm. still. thinking.
hopefully a creative idea will pop up soon!

未你

Steve Jobs

Someone I look up to.
Because his story is really one that is inspiring.

His speech for Stamford university graduation is from where my interest in him started. He ended with a phrase, "stay hungry, stay foolish". This is what I'm going to learn to do. Really sad that he passed away.

Let's hope that Apple will continue to be innovative. Get 4s?


As I'm getting all too emotional about things, I know I'm affected by setbacks. Something just hit me and that's y I'm blogging.

There's two ways to handle setbacks:
Negative: blame it on everything, everyone else, or be soak in self-pity (which is what I normally does)
Or
Positive: take it in your strike, learn from it and be a better person

Jia you everyone! We are the world (my dad's way of reply to my mum's 明天会更好。

未你

The end of a busy week

For the week that just passed, I had
monday- afa test
tues- work
wed- work
thurs- summary assignment (disgusting cos we had to do summary for ten articles of which used chim english and then i realised my english is pretty bad cos many a times i can't understand and that i'll have to re-read a few times before I can get a rough idea, not even sure if i'm right about it)
fri- mas test

was supposed to work three days every week but i asked for two days for this week and four for the next because I really wasn't able to complete my summary in time. so next week, four days work and presentation! omg. haven't prepare things for that, will look through later.

I feel guilty about not remembering the sdm online "playing game" submission on thurs. I wrote it down on my organiser but somehow the summary date due was the only thing that captured my attention. And I know we have been unfair to jen because she has been the hardworking one and she has been putting in a lot of effort in our projects.

Gonna scrap through my final sem I guess. Finally understand what a friend meant by "stress in the last sem cos worry that you can't graduate". nods.

Met up with sm and friends after my test last night. Talked about pulling string and biasness of statistics data. And felt that the world is so big for one to explore. Food for thought. On a side note, my taiwan trip is still not confirmed. I'm getting irritated.

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY, stay young at heart!

未你

Half a decade.

How amazing time flies, it's been 5 years.
I know i have been a bad gf sometimes, demanding too much from you. I'll be more rational in my thinking. And not throw tantrum. And not be less emtional okay. And to be more hardworking. And to not forget to check my phone. And not be so late. oh gosh why so many weakness. :( but you have to work hard too okay.

ANYWAY, HAPPILY. :)
Thank you for the amazing half a decade.
I'm looking forwad to more. <3

Ending with a photo taken some time ago at mbs.

未你

Too stressed became two stressed

Yes, it's me and my far-too-sensitive, possessive character especially when it concerns you n (I shall name) "the nonsense". Piled up on it are the stress for tests projects and worry for work. As a result, I exploded (aka blasted).

I feel bad AFTER we talk through things everytime. But it just keeps repeating. I'll try to control, yes? On the other hand, it's high time u take initiative to arrange a date to date me, hahahahahahahahaha. :)

One month countdown!

未你

A sunny Sunday

Met to jog (given my speed, it should be better known as fast walk instead, but who cares right =P) with sm at 10am. And given that I slept at 2+ am the night before, hehe, the meet up was delayed. We fast walked jogged and exercised a little before we played at the playground! He's super interested in playing that spin wheel thing. It's fun though too much is crazy. Some Malay kids and ang moh came along to play in the spinning thing too. Kampong spirit perhaps?

However, this spinning thing ranks lower than my fav playground item: THE SWING. lol. Didn't dare to go too high cos I'm not sure if my weight is beyond what the swing can handle. Hahahahaha. Well, but it didnt stop me from having fun!

Had a long lunch at fav heartland mall, tbp, our sec sch hangout. Precious memories with different people there.

Love, :)

Blogger finally has an app!

Yay! This should make blogging easier. I have been waiting for blogger app ever since I heard that word press has one. What is lacking now is a camera for me to snap and post. Oh well, greedy me.

So many projects going on concurrently is kinda making me crazy. But all will be over soon! I should 发奋图强。buck up and keep going, keep going!

"After a hurricane, comes a rainbow " ♪ . I was feeling down last night and music therapy worked! It's like having someone there to tell you that things will get better. YES. Stay positive :)

6 more weeks

In another 6 weeks time, I have to wave goodbye to students' life (at least temporary). I shall keep reminding myself about the awesome holiday that is going to come!

To everyone out that who is mugging hard, JIA YOU! hang in there! :)

Cheers!
fish :)

未你

Born to be a computer idiot

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm terrible at computer system and digging information out from different programs. This occurs at work and in my projects. argh.

Fine, enough of grumbles. back to project.

未你

Dzc night out

We go out, eat, have fun and take a break for a while. :)
We human need entertainment sometimes. Dzc went to swensens for dinner celebration for andy and stuffed him with food, namely ice-cream, ice-cream drink and ice-cream cake. HAHAHA. Following that, we played 风声 card game at mos burger. And I got a ride home. Two nights in a row that I get a ride home. weeee~ :)

未你

Will love last?

So much drama happened in school, anyway it's the last sem so I should just focus. The problem is, I still haven't decide what to study. I'm still looking at my options!

Ohhhhhh. And I'm so glad that I have a group of friends who met up yesterday. Cos sometimes I just need a break from school and haha-hoho-hehe. I just took my afa test that weighed 50% of the total and I kind of screwed it up. Let me pass. Haix. Not hoping for degree with distinction, just want to clear my papers and get my degree.

Future is so blur. Haa. Future is in my hands to create. :)

Anyway, I realized sm is the only person who I dare to quarrel and argue. Cos I know he will stand me. But I'll get really heart-broken and mad when he doesn't read the stuff I sent him to read. And they are not even hundreds of pages. They are only a few pages. So upsetting.

未你

Lost

For a while, I was lost in thoughts. What should there be in a relationship? Being lay back is definitely one of the characteristics I wouldn't like to see in you.

AND, a new dislike-a-guy era has just began.

未你

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

We quarrel, we have disagreements, we get angry, we get annoyed,
But after all these,
We hold on to each other.

You are amazing (i can't help but also say that you can be annoying sometimes too)

I hope that we will be this loving together, for as long as time allows. :)

Thank you for everything. :)

未你

年少时候，谁没有梦。

We were told to dream.

Dream big.

However, the reality is cruel.

I'm really glad that I can count my blessings: Family and friends.

Grateful. :)
Shall be positive! :) jia you!

未你

Majula Singapura!

I just realised that my blog has turned into a grumbling zone, which is bad! lol. then all my happy stuff are in photos on fb. alright, shall put a few ndp photos here.

my fav wheel and helicopter!

as before, subway for dinner. yays! subway's the thing when I need to have takeway dinner for shows.

 a sea of red. imho, whoever that came up with wearing red for national day has given a brillant idea.

thankful for the tickets. :)

未你

I WILL BE STRONG

and learn to be smart.
and decisive.
and not take things to heart.
and not slack.
and do well for work.
and at least clear my studies.

未你

Do what you love, Love what you do

We have regrets in life sometimes.
Like for me, not having a grade good enough for my ideal course in local uni was one of the worst things that have ever happened. And I think, as someone who grew up in s'pore, I am not used to failure(s). The feeling lasted a few years. Even now that I think of it, I will still feel that feeling that pinch my heart.

I read something that goes like this:

Whatever that happened, could only have happened that way.

Fate. And what we could hold on to is our future.
Enough of crying over spilled milk, I still have so many more years of my life to go.
Enough of grumbling because it is me who didn't get good grades.

What I could change is my future.
And i'll make a happy one.
Thats what important right.
So to you who's having this feeling, I hope you will pull yourself together and live life happily. :)

A separate issue:
What strike me to say all that was because I felt that I was blamed for everything.
And I was threatened that if I don't *, I would be ignored.
Thats not the way to do things right?
Yes, I do not deny that I have some responsibility to the whole thing. I was indecisive in making decisions. But in the end, we had a plan right. I was not the one who pang seh to go to tw with someone else, I was not the one who  had something else to attend to instead of the meet up, I was not the one who suggested for somewhere else but later backed out. Yes I know, it was supposed to be more of our trip and not hers, but then, it was really the changes that changed my decision.
I don't want us to be unhappy, and I do have some responsibility to this. Whatever thats my fault, i apologise.
Like I have said, the circumstances are against us this time.
And I hope there will be another chance to travel with you.
I hope we will be happy.


未你

What life has to offer

Been feeling very down these few days because of friends, family, work. It's not a good start, I told myself. How am I going to go through this?

I had a talk with uncle k tonight. It has been really long since we last talked. I wasn't sure if he was free to talk or wished to talk but I really did miss talking to this friend. So I rattled on. I'm glad I did. He's one of the best people to talk with.

Life's just like that, no time to think too much, no time to consider so much. I have to be more decisive and hold on to my point on whatever I want.

I may not have a large group of friends but I'm contented with what I have. I do not live in a big house but I have a comfortable roof over my head. I shouldn't be too hard on myself, to try to make the others happy but upset myself at the same time. I'm always afraid of saying something wrong to another person, always afraid of making someone upset/angry/annoyed at me. I should just be me. H mentioned this to me before too. I just got to be me.

Another skill I have to learn is to filter.

I'm touched.
Touched by what I have.

未你

Slack-y foreign lecturer

As compared to the first foreign lecturer, this lecturer is really slack max. She told us to print some notes to prepare for tmr's lesson but as I have just checked, she has not uploaded them. -_- . Can't you spare a thought for those students who are working. and, she dismissed us one hour before the supposed time.

Shall write a short blog entry then.

Been feeling moody since that sms came. It's double-standard. And me, having a low determination on things usually, feels like giving up already. Enough. idkidkidk. I don't want you to feel like you have compromised a lot for me. idk.

On a positive note, I'm making friends all over again in school.

TGIF.

未你

The Start of The Last

I'm not writing about the last harry potter movie(7, part 2) here, I'm writing on my last semester of my course, my seventh semester.

Studying and working can be compared to taking a rollercoaster ride. (fyi, I have fear for rollarcoaster)
Once you start on one, you cant stop. The ride will get more and more crazy till the end. Fear enters your heart when you realise you dont know what to do. And it ends after the final examination. Well, it's a little different this semester as compared to the last because there's greater emphasise put on the whole semester's projects, and mid term tests. Thus, it's gonna be a crazy ride throughout I guess.

This is gonna be my last (well, at least at sim. probably gonna either take up acca or cpa australia, havent made up my mind yet), and hopefully the best.

Another topic, friends.

What to do when your two bestie dislike each other? Sandwiched. Now I know exactly those guys whose mum and wife couldn't get along feels. The only solution: Separate them.

Some friends are good to have, but no matter how much effort I put into them, I wouldn't get anything out of it. Life's like this I guess. I just pray hard that my best friends will stay as my best friends forever.

Another point. Someone struck me to think of this:
If you forget your friends when you are in love, don't expect them to remember you when you are out of love.

Karma.

Full school and work to go! Gonna stay optimistic! :D

未你

Wake me up when July comes.

July has arrived.

I can hardly believe that another 6months has left and I am already at the second half of 2011. What a (half) year, what an emo year so far. I'm too emotional for my own good. I am still that naive to believe and trust people so fully. Too trusting for my own good. Shall learn not to be so trusting! :) and I shall tame my temper, be nicer to people who are nice to me :) Anyway, last semester to go and I shall attempt to pull up my results for this final sem, after scoring so many lousy credits last two semesters. (look at my results and sigh). And I should learn to filter and take some things at surface value.

Re-watched my favourite anime's movie and I'm still loving it. <3 Attempted to play the "ping-pong-ping-pong-ping-pong-chap". It's nice to reminisce the good old times. Everything and everyone has changed. And I'm glad that I still have these wonderful memories and wonderful friends whom I am still in touched with. Thankful :)

And of course, sm who is still by my side :)

On a side note, I have found a very nice photo app! omg. loves. haha. :)

未你

One night in safari.

We six people went to night safari last night. Only took like 2 or 3 photos because my camera is really bad when it comes to taking photo in the dark or near darkness. I didn't expect much from this trip and I would say this is better than I imagined, though it could have been better if we went there earlier and had time to go on walking trail.

Looking at the cute animals is so cute. Okay, my sentence is weird. lol :) and on the tram ride, we saw elephants, tigers, etc. It's like they leaped out of our primary school science textbook and are so real right in front of me. It's a pity though, that many of them are endangered species. Climate change and hunters are not helping at all. It's nice to see them.

Following that was a stayover and fun till 5+ am with the chinese idioms and drawings. We were all high to the point where we laugh at the smallest thing. One funniest incident was when my friend kt switched off the light, he realised he cant see at all. And so, someone commented he lay down before he switch off the light. BUT if he lay down then he wouldn't be able to see where he was supposed to sleep at! hahahaha. so he went to switch off the light and attempts to find his place before someone else commented that he can use the owl light which they bought at night safari for a little light to light his way. And so he search for the owl and switch on. AND finally, when we all thought it's okay, time to sleep already, he said "but i dont know how to switch off this light!" and the switch is in fact the same one as how he switched on it. He's very very funny because of the way he says things. :)

I'm sick and i dont know where i caught it from. :( is it the lychee I ate, or the huge puff of cigarettes smoke i sniffed when walking up the stairs, or from sm? idk.


未你

This holiday.

I have managed to clear most of what I want to do this holiday. Meeting up with friends have always been <3 because I can have htht with them. And sometimes they will "yes yes! this happened to me toooooo!" yeah, sometimes it is grumbles we share in each of our life but sometimes it is nonsense that we share. However, organising for a meet-up can really be a bitch sometimes, especially when people dont reply. Once or twice is fine but too many times can really show how much i mean to u :( well, as much as i grumble about planning, i am always glad to meet up with them, :)

Meeting up with different friends gives different feelings and every time time flies and before i realise it, it's time to head home already. Play time will never be enough right. well well, i shall attempt to settle down when my crazy timetable starts in mid-july.

Working has still been crappy with my monday-blues client. I have tried very very very hard but i think my strategy is wrong and i always push things to the last minute thus always not enough time. the accting system sucks. b/s cannnot balance and i have been asking the maintenance person one million questions on the system. I really cannot take it anymore and thus i would rather suffer a pay cut in order to end my suffering there. it's total nonsense. understudy will be taking over this and i expect him to do a good job because he is less emotional to everything and faster and more poker face (k said he has a poker face, and i agree. lol. ) and thus should be able to handle this monday-blues better. My challenge now is to complete what i'm doing, which is the may and jun work before passing over to understudy.

I have a few other thought which I have been wanting to pen down but havent did.

Being too friendly
I have a problem with being too friendly sometimes or be in the opinion that someone is a "大好人" and only to feel so cheated after that because the person has a hidden agenda or cannot be understood. I shall remind myself to be caution (though i think i have problem doing this because i trust too easily) .

Explaining my work/study life
I may have blogged about this before: I have problem explaining to people my situation because it is not so straight-forward. I am working full-time and studying part-time for my bachelor course. My studies is structured such that it is 7 semesters, which effectively translates into 3 and a half years. I didn't retain nor repeat any modules and the course is such this way. It is difficult to explain this to people, especially to the aunties/uncles. It feels worse when people, after hearing that I am studying in SIM, comment things like "ohhhhhhhhhhh, is it more expensive?" and they didnt ask in a concern way, they asked in the oh-so-you-cant-get-into-local-uni kind of tone. yes, till now it is still a wound in my heart that i was not able to get into a course I want in nus/ntu. I dont mean i feel offended, but it just reminds me of my sucky results. And it doesn't help when my mum will drop comments like "sigh, my biggest regret is that none of you three could enter into local uni". (stabs into my heart).

oh shit. this is an emo post. shall seperately write about my night safari adventure in my next post :)

未你

Boss politics

What's worse than office politics?
Boss politics.

The partnership for the office downstairs splitted and the "war" has officially started.
同行的不是朋友，就是敌人。
他们可说是各出奇招。

而有人被无辜的卷入。其实我也不知道具体发生了什么事。
我这两位老板也有了一些磨擦，有了一场吵架。
朋友还是敌人？

act blur live longer :) 没我的事。

~（一个不习惯打中文的我）

未你

Understudy is coming back.

And so I should start planning the things I want to do! all of a sudden, I seems to have all the time in the world. Okay, shall take back my words immediately. lol. And also shove this slacker kind of idea one side. :) there's so so so many things i want to do. It's a crazy timetable this sem. 6days week. Am I really a part-time student I wonder?


未你

Conflict resolved

I'm always amazed by how we resolve our conflict. 雨过天晴。
But still got work to worry about tomorrow.
I'm living every week for the weekend. And every weekend is pretty planned out already. Laa~

未你

Crappy feelings.

Yup, as the title says.

Felt that I can't be compared to ur friends. whyyyyyyy. and so, i shall not ask u out. why should I do that, when I get rejected outrightly when I'm just trying to be nice. ffffff. And i was thinking, whether it is because I felt that I needed u more than u needed me. I'm still learning to better handle my own emotions. Grab this from a tumblr. dont really like the colour scheme but love the simple idea.

Work takes a turn for the better today and it's another "food-ful" day today. Friday is gonna be the crazy one. and understudy is gonna let k knows whether he's coming back tomorrow. On a side note, I can't understand how some people can be act differently from how they claim to be. Fake.

"Who says" is on repeat to remind me of me. Yes, me.

未你

Taking things for granted.

I have this problem that comes back every holiday, and thus we will quarrel over this, every time.

I always think that in every relationship, there's one person who is the more evil one. and in mine, i'm the one who is the more evil one. oooooooooops. i was told that i always force you to do things u dont like. and my sis told me to cut u some slack. sorry lahhhh. i just felt unjust. each of our upbringing cant be changed i guess. and i cant, and unwilling to change some of my bad habit (eg. the nine-to-twelve syndrome). thus, i should accept some of your not so fantastic points too. let's iron things out yes. we have so much time ahead of us. thanks for tolerating all my nonsense, and my indecisive character.  :)   <3

未你

A reminder to living life, the way we want it.

I had an awesome weekend, re-charged for the week. It was just doing simple things, including meet-up with study fellows in jc, going to botanic garden, sushi dinner, and stay home sunday. It is nice just like this. :)
Thanks for doing all the crazy actions with me.
I finally have got a proper jump shot photo! yay! :D


未你

It doesn't feel like May.

With May almost over, it really doesn't feel like May. Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Maybe I'll wake up feeling better. :)

Do you think that it's not important or do you think i wouldn't mind?

Still, work is the main source of unhappiness. And the problem is with me, not the work, not my life, not anything else. I have been having a very bad temper lately. this is not good.

I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me.

未你

Need to love myself more.

And so, another five months (almost) has passed. I shall sum up my thoughts.

It's yet another crappiest semester ever. This time, its not about study and work; it's about work and projects. These are projects that have deprived me of my energy. I am hopeless when it comes to individual projects, because I often forget to check on the requirements properly. I also often have problems understanding what the question requires and researching on the relevant materials. And no, I still feel like the outlier, the odd one, and this feeling certainly did not help me. After a long day at work, especially at the sse-place, I feel so drained. And I have bad time management, I spent my precious time on meaningless activities and thats something I ought to change. I kept feeling all the negative feelings, towards school, work and people around me. And then I finally realised its me that should change. I should change my attitude and things will be fine.

AHH. One more sem to go before I graduate. I have mixed feelings towards graduation. Graduating means I'll have to:
1) Decide on my route
2) Provide for my own expenses and contribute more to household
3) Grow up

I am clueless sometimes, on how I should behave. I'm not used to office politics, back-stabbers, people who do not practise what they preach. On a side-note, I hate spoilt brats. They should be locked up until they know how to behave. lol. Fine, this is too extreme, but I enjoy the very thought of not needing to put up with them.

BF (best friends) are awesome. :)
1) I am glad to have discoved the telepathy between friends. Well, maybe it isn't exactly telepathy, it's sensitivity. Friends who will clarify any unhappiness, and are concerned with another's feelings. I was hurt initially because of some actions of this bf of mine. I was typing a very long sms to him and was pondering whether or not to send it out because I think that friends should really understand each other and not pick on each others weaknesses, especially when it comes to setting our own priorities. Before I could decide, he called. We talked about it and I felt much better after that. And then I was reminded of why he is my best friend despite us not being able to meet often, because he's a very nice friend.

2) I feel so pampered by the pink package and card. And when I asked why she treats me her bestie, she gave me reasons. Silly me, yes, but I am glad I asked. hahahahahahaha. :)

I had a k-singing session and we sang our hearts out. Enjoyed it. Singing songs makes one happy! Thankful for the treat and the meal that I would otherwise have not tried. :)

AND I JUST HEARD A NEWS that i shouldn't spread but i'm so happy for I-know-who. A group of us had a "htht" (which should be named a gossip session rather) but i'm so so so irritated that it kept side-tracked with so little conversed. argh. Anyway, (the only "moral of the story" I was reminded of was) when I commented about a friend's 9-months relationship being in honeymoon stage, he said no, it's in comfortable stage. That's the word alright. Comfortable. Sm and I still have disagreements (more than I think we should have. lol.) but yes, I feel comfortable with him. bleh. I dont know what the future holds though, but I really hope we'll last forever.

Next up, meet-ups and some time for myself. :) I think I had a very long shower today (eh. maybe 45mins or one hour?) and felt refreshed. I. need. to. love. myself. more.

Long week ahead and fight fight fight. This monday and friday are gonna be the worst.

未你

Live with it.

Heard this mind-boggling phrase from k today. Live with it.
Gosh. I need to do some thinking on this. stay or leave.


未你

想想想

我决定应该偶尔用华文来练习汉语拼音。:)
好多事情该去办，但自己还是沉浸在刚考完试的感里。
Hehe haha hoho. :)

未你

好喜欢这种读书的感觉

Although I know I have not made significantly more progress than what I normally study, I am really happy about these two days. It was a simple routine of study, eat, study, eat, study, sleep. I can be able to temporary escape from my workload and all the nonsense office politics. I wont feel left out. And in fact I was very entertained. It's that comfortable feeling you get with your friends. I dont need to think so much, other than studying, eating and sleeping. okay, added with maybe some short naps in between. heh. and blog reading. hahaha. xx's blog really kept me entertained.

Guys, are simple yet complicated.
They are generally nicer than girls (yeah, me included. i think i'm evil), and also towards girls.
But I dont understand some guys sometimes though, especially when they keep things to themselves.

I dont have the feeling of regret. It is more like a feeling of pity, that i'm not in local university. On the other hand, I know I have learnt so much more and kind of by chance, studied something I like (yeah, i like to study accounting but i dont really enjoy the work. maybe because i am still unclear about so many things. rarr. and esp when things are so messed up).

How I wish days like this never end. :)

Surprisingly, I saw my tkd senior who is in uol program there! Everyone (okay, other than the nus people) is in their exam period. It is damn scary when you see library at 9am almost full. I had to crawl out of bed and I wonder if they do that too. okay, on second thought, i think i'm the lazy one. Everybody else probably waits at the library entrance and dashes in as soon as they can. eh. It opens at 8.30am if i'm not mistaken.

And okay, I had some self-evaluation and concluded that my thoughts were of a spoilt brat. I am glad i still have youuuuuuuuu. Sorry for throwing a tamtrum. And I thank whoever is up there to give me my friends. I'm really fortunate to have the friends I have. Sm included. :)

Yay! And so I have an evening before I start my work on tues. weeeee~ a date with gf.

未你

Miss the mugging times. 想念与错过。

Disappointed.

Ok. Shall catch up on my mugging.

On a side note, I really miss being a full time student. It felt like I have been a student for the whole of my life, and never been working. Haa. I have been dreaming I think :)

未你

Positive motivation!

OMG. I just realized all my blog entries are so negative. Cannot be so negative! Shall look forward to all the meet ups with friends and presents. Wahahaha! :) and hopefully, a short getaway :) so now, focus. Haa. :)

I'm POSITIVE FISH ^.^v

Love mum-cooked food.

未你

Tmdwtf.

Okay, it just so happened that the letters of something that I am supposed to memorize make up to the title mentioned. And yes, my feelings exactly. I felt rotten feelings in the evening yesterday for no good reason, and my mind had to generate some distractions, leading to my mood swing since yesterday.

Sore throat and cough came. Not particular bad though, fortunately, just had to keep drinking water.

And I realized how cruel life can be. Everyone (me included) being fake, untrue and hiding what we think, in order to build and maintain relationships.

I have a craving for frog porridge. Ahhhhhhhhh.
And sushi.
And soy beancurd.

我想躺在绿色的草原上，
或沙滩上，
眼看着云朵飘过，
风吹着树叶，
多好啊。


Thank you for tolerating all my nonsense, thank you. :) get well soon to both of us.

未你

Emo quotes.

I just read a blog from a person I don't know with many quotes that are so sad but so true. They are about love(bgr) and love(friends). So sad but so true. Eww. Who's fake and who's real, if there are any at all? In mind vs in appearance. Shall start studying now :)
-"eletheowl"

未你

A day at I-know-where

I was wondering what friends are for. And what's e point sometimes.

Anyway, I'm feeling tired. Must be the notes x.x

Focus jy, focus!!!

未你

Monday not blues.

Tired but fruitful day, put a (temporary) stop to work.

Understudy is better, faster, clearer than me. I'm really feeling sad now that he is leaving :( well, he got his strengths n I have got mine. Should I stay or should I go? Tired of this feeling, this s&e combination.

Thank you uncle k, :) oh, I actually miss studying with u :) yay! Gonna meet u tmr.

I want to go out into the sunshine, greenery, seaside to breathe! Soon, soon, I hope. Wants to go bukit timah/ fort canning/ pular ubin, or all of them. And I am still brainstorming for more places to go :)

And I saw a friend's very pretty cake. I want. Lol. Lalala~

未你

好人坏人，男人女人。

Badly needed to get this off my chest to start on my report.

如果毒男/女人能得到他/她想要的东西，那我们为何不都变成坏人？

做坏人的好处：
*不需担心人家的感受
*能随心做自己想做的事
*别人会因为怕他而不敢得罪他
*（many many more）

做坏人的坏处：
*良心过意不去

okay, my argument may be loop-sided. but u get my point.


未你

What are words, if they don't mean it.

My latest laptop wallpaper. needed a pat on my shoulder. needed to remind myself that i can be strong. needed some many more encouragements that i have no idea who much is enough. but this simple wallpaper is enough, for now. i can, i believe.

it's difficult to hide my feelings, and i have kept them hiden for a very long time now. there's no way i can solve it. i can only just let u be. but there are also times that i feel tired, that i feel alone as the minority. the outcast. meifutongxiangyounantongdang. i feared that one day i will say something wrong, something irreversible. and i know it's in me that i do not know how to phrase my words properly. thus i chose not to say anything, and just let u be. i shall preserve.
why did u say things when u cant do it. that cold words hit me. so do u mean u lied or that circumstances has changed, over this short period of time? it's okay. i'll be okay, and strong.

未你

Something happy.

We went for frog porridge! wee~ I have been craving for it since sunday.

Okay, the rest of this week should still be manageable. but I need to start thinking about work distribution in april because of study leave which I will be asking for. And I woke up late today! Woke up at 9.30 and totally missed my alarm. =/ rushed out. fortunately the boss and lady boss went out. and understudy is really really leaving. :( and temp is becoming perm.

Always look on the bright side of life! ;)

未你

It's the time of the semester.

Yes, this period of time is terrible. Projects to hand in and there's work to juggle with. nearing the end of the lessons of this sem already. next thing is to plan well on what to study. dont be a fool like last semester to have forgotten to study previous semester question and did badly.

And understudy is leaving :( eww. i was wondering if it is any fault of mine that he is leaving. I didn't do anything bad. maybe he thinks i'm bossy? =/ but i dont think so right. =// aiyayaya. he has been a good helper. Actually my guess is that he's not happy with the remmunation plan, thus he mentioned abt that he found another better job. most people wont start a new job one month before final examination right. so, i dont know. i'll see him on tues. i dont know whether i should ask him for the reason. aiyo. and i suspect that auntie may have something to do with it. but, it's only a guess. all my guess only.

yeahyeah, so hang in there! :)


未你

Another breather.

We had sushi for dinner because I had that craving last night. I seems to have more food craving when i'm under stress and it feels good to satisfy them. (on a side note, i think i have put on weight =/ . swimming tmr!)

I haven't had this feeling of full for a very very long time. The feeling of satisfaction, comfort, happiness because I have enjoyed my food, without having to think about the things I have to complete by the dateline. phew. shall hang in there and jia you! :)

PS: K talked to me about my work performance and about under-study. yes, i have to be more diligent in my work. okay, another resolution. (with so many resolutions, i dont know how many i can remember and achieve. tired sometimes. and not that diligent. =x )

未你

Amazing feeling with friends.

Love you girls and time flies when I'm with the two of you <3 thanks for every encouragement, for listening and sharing with me what's happening in your life. I'm grateful to have simple and nice bestie like you two. For us, 加油加油加油! till the next time we meet :)

Another new resolution: Complain/grumble less :)

(I have decided that I should change the title because it is nicer to have nice titles reminding myself to be grateful of what i have)
未你

One cannot have the best of both worlds

Something that I heard today inspired on this thought (just like in the movie Inception, the idea that is planted is stronger when one "generate"(can't remember the word they used) his own idea.)

I shouldn't expect you to be perfect, because I am not perfect as well.

Right now, I'm just glad that I have you. :)
Thanks for loving me, more than how little I used to love myself.
The next step is probably to take a step back each and not have conflict so often.
Thanks for being you and holding on to your values. :)

OKAY! Some random stuff that triggered my thoughts:
> I came up with a nickname for I-know-who. It's stupid-s. He is totally a back-stabber! Lies about everything. I gotta be careful of him.
> Because of my recent encounter, I realised that guys can be so complicated! omg. I never realised it because sm and kg, my best friend are simple kind of guys.
> The woman in J-family are all fierce. lol. I wonder how the guys can stand it.
> Networking is important.
> My course does not automatically comes with C P A (aust) :( [or so, i heard. i haven't research on it and my intended path after graduation]
> This sem is left with 2 more months (this is my second last sem) oh no! I'm not at all ready! (self-note: keep my long hair for graduation photo. lol! vain me =P)
> I am so glad that the under-study has joined has to help me! He's super fast when it comes to data-entry and he's hardworking (something I should learn from him)
> We need something to cling on to when life gets tough. It helps, very much, very very much.

Saw this plant outside the window of a bus last year at a time when I was really stressed with working and studying. I find it amazing that plants have this kind of strength to live. We should learn to be strong. :)

未你

I just need to grumble.

Nobody can help me, if I don't help myself.
It's terrible to work and study at the same time. Because work can give crap and as time goes by, I forget that I still have my school. And it's discouraging when I tell people I'm studying accounting, and the next thing they ask is "ACCA?" I'll say "no", and the next thing they will ask (for sure) is "why not?"

It's because I didn't know what I want at that time and I feel unsecured in studying that. On top of that, I have no friends who have graduated from jc who went to a school that is not nus/ntu/smu/sim. Thus I was afraid to try it on my own. Oh, and I hope there will be a day when people won't give the response "oh, such a pity (you didn't get into local uni/ what happened why didn't u go local uni)". Full-time work and study is also difficult okay.

Okay, enough of grumbling, need to study.

Jia you jia yu! For a better future. 不经一番寒刺骨，哪得梅花扑鼻香。

未你

Google is my best friend

I just discovered the power of Google- to enable you to look for so many related articles/news/image. I think i'm kind of slow to realise this but at least i do now alright. Internet is so powerful!

And steve jobs is a transformational leader (lol. what I have just learnt in class today). The way he presents speech are simply superb.

未你

Maligned

I was blamed for something that is not my fault. I wasn't told to issue the cheque NOR payment voucher NOR open the letter NOR the reminder letter from that place that starts with a C. I dont even open any letters at all! And they continued to say things that put me down like

>"at least now we know your strength and weakness". (yes, I'm sure you stressed on that word)
>"you felt there were too much work and you complained to your boss" (it's my rights to tell my boss, and there were really too much work)
>"we place you above us so we expect you to know these stuff better than us" (f. we didnt agree on taking over your office operation yet. just because the person in-charge went for holiday doesn't mean i'm responsible.)

NONSENSE. U got me to spend time writing those cheques, instead of working on the system.

To humiliate me further,
you two have got to comment that
> "oh, you can come here to vaccum our floor" (if you feel like spending your money on me for vaccum, I don't mind, I/my company can charge you at the rate we charge for our professional fees, i dont mind)
> (after i told them proudly of my sec sch) "that gangster school?"

I admit i'm not fast, okay, slow, but there were so many things I have to learn, by myself. All I could do was to email the system person to ask. I pick up all these by myself.

I never revealed my age because I dont want them to feel that i'm inexperienced. And they try all sort of ways to get me to say, like
he said > "you have already told me your age that time"
i said > "no i didnt, what did i say?"
he said > "you said 6 more months you are turning 30"
(in my mind: you want me to say by telling me i look older so that i'll say our my real age right)

Maturity is not determined by age. Because you two are childish. nonsense.

I felt so silly that I cried over it. If k stands on their side, then i think there's no point in me working for him.

未你

My personal view on facebook

Facebook is an entertainment, not a way of life.

未你

My sunflower affair.

<3 my sunflower affair.

未你

To express myself.

I find it diffcult to suppress my thoughts. But I need to. I'm not able, and not supposed to correct some people. For example, I can't possibly tell my clients off for what I disagree with (for their family affairs). And to my elders, I shouldn't correct them. And definitely not to people who doesn't listen. And so I grumble. But it isn't healthy to grumble too much. Yet, if I don't grumble, I feel like there's something in me, like a balloon growing.


And so, I came to enjoy reading blogs where blogger expresses himself/herself, to a certain exent, freely. I find it funny the way they scold the others, and silly sometimes because it is really over such a small stuff that he/she is having a huge fuss over.


And so, I'm still learning, learning to express myself in a positive way, to express my views but at the same time not offend anyone. I'm sorry if I'm not good with words. I meant and mean well. :)


未你

How nice it will be if your cousin is also your best friend.

I had lunch with a familiar face today, my cousin. I have no idea why I'm not at all angry when he had forgotten our lunch meet-up. I'm just glad that at least when he realised it, he came to watch me eat, although there was only half an hour left. This cousin of mine, I watched him grow up, and he is so tall now, messy hair though, lol. I call this pre-army syndrome: a want to keep your hair as long as possible before you go botak at tekong. =P

No, I'm not really close to this cousin of mine, or rather, I am not really very close to any of my cousins. :( How I wish I am! In my opinion, it is nice to have big families with close bonds. It's not easy though, almost 家家有本难念的经  .


未你

Chinese new year 2011

I find it kind of sad not to have big extended family reunion dinner this year, and probably not going to have it in the future too. To be honest, I don't want to interfer nor meddle in the "adult's problem" but I do care about keeping in touch with my younger cousins. I watched my cousins grow up, yet I don't have the chance to know them more other than during the annual reunion dinner we have. I have no idea what to do about this yet. humph.

Well, maybe I should be glad that at least we spent our 初一 together. It's amazing to see my cousins grow up, so tall now! And some of them have break their voice, wahahahaha. How good it will be if we could all be close. I envy those family with close bonds. This makes me think of having a large family myself when I grow up. lol. Crazy thought with the increase in the standard of living now.

And after this chinese new year, I have got to put my attention back to my work and studies! Have slacked enough and it is time to catch up. Can't afford to do last min work again for school because I always have ot randomly. :( on a side note, someone quite random told me something, which kind of inspired me:
me: but studying and working is very difficult.
mh (my friend): 可是你是佳榆 leh.
It hit me. yes, if I haven't fallen after so many years, I wouldn't be defeated by this.

I just gotta be strong.

未你

声音，噪音，杂音

这是我在＂某＂个地方的感受。
恨不得自己能躲在一个洞，能远离那吵闹的环境。
不去听不管自己的事情，以免在不知情时，被卷入他人的纠纷里。
有些人会大声嚷嚷，也有小孩子会在旁吵着要＂mummy＂引起他妈妈的注意（也是引起他妈妈的烦躁情绪）。
就算这些人不在，我也得小心，因为伴君如伴虎，我不知道几时会说错话，或有没有三姑六婆会把白的讲成黑的，或是断章取义。
因为在那，那些说自己很随便的其实是最看不开的。
但是，我在那里也学到了不少，最少我看到了种种不一样的人。有的值得我学习，有的值得我了解了不要犯同样的错误。

未你

To change for the better, 2011

1) Abide by the rule of punctuality

2) Be more sensitive towards others, in terms my actions

3) To be strong and withstand the nonsense that life offers me

未你

Trying to balance School, Work, and Life.

How forgetful can I get?
I conveniently forgot that I would have many projects and test to follow up to in a semester even though I'm supposed to be only doing this part-time studies. Just realised I have got 6 reports, 3 individual, 3 group to do, and 1 test. I'm so scared of doing individual report because I don't know how to do referencing (yes, EVEN after the many projects because my group members are the ones doing the referencing and hence i have been able to avoid doing it). And I'm afraid that I'll conveniently forget about the project altogether and forgot the due date. x.x


I immersed myself in work, and forgot about school. OH NO! Need to wake up already.


未你

can't match

can't match can't match, i can't match,
this whole lot of nonsense, i can't match.


未你

I'm different because I'm special.

Live like myself, and that's the best I can be.

I'm different because I'm special :)

Live love laugh

未你

Have you ever felt this way?

Caution.This is gonna be a sad post.



I have gotta rant this out because this has been bothering me for quite some time.
Have you ever love a friend, only to realise much later that he/she doesn't love you back as much?
In this case, Love=Friendship .

Some time back, I thought that you have left me for good, because although we had a lot of good memories together, we are essentially different. I was the one who chose a different environment from you, fearing that i may lose you, in front of me. I don't want to be seen as a shadow, and I want to be happy to be me. I want to be me. Nevertheless, I wanted to stay in contact with you. Maybe time was a big concern back then. And we drifted away. I tried, more than once to pull you nearer to me, but it all failed. And then, after I have decided to give up, miraculously, as if my prayers were answered, you came back. And, I believed in you. Believe that you would never ever do what you have did to me before, again.





And then you did.


I'm probably the one who's getting over-sensitive this time.
And so, I hope I'll just wake up next morning feeling stupid that I have felt the way I feel.

Yes, cheers to a better day. :D


to all this small blog's readers out there, i would very much prefer you not to guess who's the person.

未你

Amazing 2010

Year 2010 has been an amazing year.
It started off with a blast with my very first overseas trip organized by friends to genting. No doubt it was a short trip, it has been nice travelling with friends. :) then it was an surprise celebration that I have co-organized with a friend. He went quite high during that celebration too. Lol.
And it was ORD! It shouldn't have sound like it has anything to do with me, but it was! It was as though I went through it okay. Though it didn't experienced it physically, I experienced it mentally and emotionally. It was a tough one year and ten months with nonsense and a great deal of getting used to, especially the restricted amount of time we have everyday and the gloomy Sunday nights, both for you and me. I'm so glad that we have got over it.
Then the next big thing was the first cny that I have came across before, that falls on 14feb, otherwise known as vday.
Then it was one of my best friends birthday in march. Though it was only a simple steamboat dinner, I'm so happy for her. And then there were another two close friends' celebration and I'm so happy for them too because they had also enjoyed the celebrations. Then came April where I broke down with the stress of work, projects and exams. I had almost wanted to call off my birthday party because I had too much to handle. I'm fortunate to have sm helped me with the logistic and I only had to care about my guest list and to make some decisions.
Then came end of April where my mugging time increased as I had taken leave from my work.
May was a blast with my party (=^_^=) and some celebrations and catch up. May and June was fun because it was school holidays(yup, I continued working at the same time, all the while). I should pause here to say there I sincerely enjoyed all the birthday parties that I have attended and I'm so happy for my friends who have had their party and at a great time.
And so I continued to attend parties and in July, it was to uss. So pretty! Although I was terrified by that small mummy rollarcoaster, I'm glad that I have tried! It sure has been a scary experience but also an amazing one because I'm proud of myself that I have gone through it. No regrets :)
In aug, it was sm's turn. I know I wasn't much of a help to the party, both for the organizing and for the actual day but I'm glad that everything has turned out well for him :) it was a headache when it comes to buying presents but luckily, I had a idea and he had a new need, hostel. Lol.
I have attended another surprise birthday party for another bestie and I saw how loving they are and I am truly happy for her. Then, I realized whatone could enjoy, if you have money. That is not in my own spending range. Different background. It's cool anyway.
Next came was end of sept. It was our fourth anniversary and we had only simple dinner but it was simply nice. And we made our rings (again ;))
In oct, I went to a memorable birthday celebration. It wasn't at any grand place, it was in front of a shop at a housing estate. They had everything necessary for party and it sure was the wild-est party I have ever attended. Then, I understood what they mean by that a family shapes how a child (or rather, a person's) character.
Oct was another crazy stress-filled month as I juggled with my job and studies, and this time, I fared badly. Phew. I don't know how I'm going to get through this another two times but I will, I believe :) . Alright, back to my main idea, nov and dec was enjoy and "let's go out days" after work. I hope I have done enough of encouraging you and had motivated you enough, you-know-who. I'm pretty dumb when it comes to encouraging you =/
anyway, I co-made a banner for a best friend. We were so proud of our self-painted banner. Lol.
Dec was filled with fun and I had an eye-opener when I went to stayover at mbs hotel ^^ the sky pool is simply awesome! The best pool that I have ever seen and swam in.
Christmas period was stayover and catch up with friends. Had the "wettest BBQ" and fun!
New year eve was all sort of impromptu decisions, and everything fall in nicely in the end, our first countdown together.


I'm contented with such an amazing 2010 :)


未你